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Wed 6th February 2008

Clarksonisms


Filed under: Humour

Just finished reading Clarkson's latest book 'Don't stop me now', and it's actually pretty good.  And that's quite a compliment coming from someone who normally only reads books with soldiers or guns on the front.  Hilarity abounds from page to page, very witty throughout.

While admiring JC's writing style, I wondered if there was such a thing as a Clarksonism.  So to prove the point, I turned to the one place which is guaranteed to answer any complex quandry.  Google.

Turns out, there is such a thing as a "Clarksonism", here are some of my favourites:

About the Porsche Cayman S:
"There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean."

"The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw."

"Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?"

Assessing Hammond's crash:
Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!"
Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph."
Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

Read more here.  Alternatively, do what I did and Google it.
 
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Mon 6th March 2017KapDavid
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